Self-Contradictions of the Bible, by William Henry Burr, 
MAN WAS CREATED AFTER THE OTHER ANIMALS.
And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and the cattle after their kind. . . . And God said, Let us make man. . . . So God created man in his own image. (Gen. 1:25, 26, 27.)
MAN WAS CREATED BEFORE THE OTHER ANIMALS.
And the Lord God said it is not good that man should be alone; I will make a help-meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air, and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them. (Gen. 2:18, 19.)
SEED TIME AND HARVEST WERE NEVER TO CEASE.
While the earth remaineth, seed time and harvest . . . shall not cease. (Gen. 8:22.)
SEED TIME AND HARVEST DID CEASE FOR SEVEN YEARS.
And the seven years of dearth began to come. . . . And the famine was over all the face of the earth. (Gen. 41:54, 56.)
For these two years hath famine been in the land; and yet there are five years in which there shall neither be earing [archaic term for "plowing"—JBH] nor harvest. (Gen. 45:6.)
GOD HARDENED PHARAOH'S HEART.
But I will harden his heart, that he shall not let the people go. (Ex. 4:21).
And the Lord hardened the heart of Pharaoh. (Ex. 9:12.)
PHARAOH HARDENED HIS OWN HEART.
But when Pharaoh saw that there was respite, he hardened his heart, and hearkened not unto them. (Ex. 8:15.)
ALL THE CATTLE AND HORSES IN EGYPT DIED.
Behold, the hand of the Lord is upon thy cattle which is in the field, upon the horses, upon the asses, upon the camels, upon the oxen, and upon the sheep. . . . And all the cattle of Egypt died. (Ex. 9:3, 6.)
ALL THE HORSES OF EGYPT DID NOT DIE.
But the Egyptians pursued after them (all the horses and chariots of Pharaoh, and his horsemen, and his army) and overtook them encamping by the sea. (Ex. 14:9.)
MOSES FEARED PHARAOH.
And Moses feared, and said, Surely this thing is known. Now, when Pharaoh heard this thing, he sought to slay Moses. But Moses fled before the face of Pharaoh, and dwelt in the land of Midian. . . . And it came to pass, in process of time, that the king of Egypt died. . . . And the Lord said unto Moses, in Midian, Go, return unto Egypt; for all the men are dead which sought thy life. (Ex. 2:14, 15, 23; & 4:19.)
MOSES DID NOT FEAR PHARAOH.
By faith he [Moses] forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king. (Heb. 11:27.)
THERE DIED OF THE PLAGUE TWENTY-FOUR THOUSAND.
And those that died in the plague were twenty and four thousand. (Num. 25:9.)
THERE DIED OF THE PLAGUE BUT TWENTY-THREE THOUSAND.
And fell in one day three and twenty thousand. (1 Cor. 10:8.)
JOHN THE BAPTIST WAS ELIAS.
This is Elias which was to come. (Matt. 11:14.)
JOHN THE BAPTIST WAS NOT ELIAS.
And they asked him, What then? Art thou Elias? and he said I am not. (John 1:21.)
THE FATHER OF JOSEPH, MARY'S HUSBAND, WAS JACOB.
And Jacob begat Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus. (Matt. 1:16.)
THE FATHER OF MARY'S HUSBAND WAS HELI.
Being the son of Joseph which was the son of Heli. (Luke 3:23.)
THE FATHER OF SALAH WAS ARPHAXAD.
And Arphaxad lived five and thirty years and begat Salah. (Gen. 11:12.)
THE FATHER OF SALAH WAS CAINAN.
Which was the son of Sala, which was the son of Cainan, which was the son of Arphaxad. (Luke 3:35, 36.)
THERE WERE FOURTEEN GENERATIONS FROM ABRAHAM TO DAVID.
So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations. (Matt. 1:17.)
THERE WERE BUT THIRTEEN GENERATIONS FROM ABRAHAM TO DAVID.
Abraham begat Isaac . . . Jacob . . . Judas . . . Phares . . . Esrom . . . Aram . . . Aminaldab . . . Naason . . . Salmon . . . Booz . . . Obed . . . Jesse . . . David .. . (Matt. 1:2, 3, 4, 5, 6.)
THERE WERE FOURTEEN GENERATIONS FROM THE BABYLONISH CAPTIVITY TO CHRIST.
And from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations. (Matt. 1:17.)
THERE WERE BUT THIRTEEN GENERATIONS FROM THE BABYLONISH CAPTIVITY TO CHRIST.
And after they were brought to Babylon Jechonias begat Salathiel . . . Zorobabel . . . Abiud . . . Eliakim . . . Azor . . . Sadoc . . . Achim . . . Eliud . . . Eleazar . . . Matthan . . . Jacob . . . Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus . (Matt. 1:12, 13, 14, 15, 16.)
THE INFANT CHRIST WAS TAKEN INTO EGYPT.
When he arose he took the young child and his mother by night and departed into Egypt, and was there until the death of Herod. . . . But when Herod was dead, . . . he took the young child and his mother and came . . . and dwelt in a city called Nazareth. (Matt. 2:14, 15, 19, 21, 23.)
THE INFANT CHRIST WAS NOT TAKEN INTO EGYPT.
And when the days of her purification, according to the law of Moses, were accomplished, they brought him to Jerusalem, to present him to the Lord. . . . And when they had performed all things, according to the law of the Lord they returned . . . to their own city, Nazareth. (Luke 2:22, 39.)
CHRIST WAS TEMPTED IN THE WILDERNESS.
And immediately [after Christ's baptism] the spirit driveth him into the wilderness. And he was there in the wilderness forty days tempted of Satan. (Mark 1:12, 13.)
CHRIST WAS NOT TEMPTED IN THE WILDERNESS.
And the third day [after Christ's baptism] there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee. . . . Both Jesus was called and his disciples to the marriage. (John 2:1, 2.)
CHRIST PREACHED HIS FIRST SERMON ON THE MOUNT.
And seeing the multitude he went up into a mountain, and when he was set his disciples came unto him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying. (Matt. 5:1, 2.)
CHRIST PREACHED HIS FIRST SERMON IN THE PLAIN.
And he came down with them and stood in the plain; and the company of his disciples, and a great multitude of people . . . came to hear him. . . . And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples and said. (Luke 6:17, 20.)
JOHN WAS IN PRISON WHEN JESUS WENT INTO GALILEE.
Now, after that John was put in prison Jesus came into Galilee preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God. (Mark 1:14.)
JOHN WAS NOT IN PRISON WHEN JESUS WENT INTO GALILEE.
The day following Jesus would go forth into Galilee. (John 1:43.)
And after these things came Jesus with his disciples into the land of Judea. . . . And John was baptizing in Enon. . . . For John was NOT YET cast into prison. (John 3:22, 23, 24.)
CHRIST'S DISCIPLES WERE COMMANDED TO GO FORTH WITH A STAFF AND SANDALS.
And commanded them that they should take nothing for their journey, save a staff only; no scrip, no bread, no money in their purse; but be shod with sandals. (Mark 6:8, 9.)
CHRIST'S DISCIPLES WERE COMMANDED TO GO FORTH WITH NEITHER STAVES NOR SANDALS.
Provide neither gold, nor silver, nor brass in your purses; nor scrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staves. (Matt. 10:9, 10.)
A WOMAN OF CANAAN BESOUGHT JESUS.
And behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil. (Matt. 15:22.)
IT WAS A GREEK WOMAN WHO BESOUGHT HIM.
The woman was a Greek, a Syrophenician by nation, and she besought him that he would cast forth the devil out of her daughter. (Mark 7:26.)
TWO BLIND MEN BESOUGHT JESUS.
And behold, two blind men sitting by the way-side, when they heard that Jesus passed by, cried out, saying, Have mercy on us, O Lord thou son of David. (Matt. 20:30.)
ONLY ONE BLIND MAN BESOUGHT HIM.
A certain blind man sat by the way-side begging. . . . And he cried, saying, Jesus, thou son of David, have mercy on me. (Luke 18:35, 38.)
CHRIST WAS CRUCIFIED AT THE THIRD HOUR.
And it was the third hour and they crucified him. (Mark 15:25.)
CHRIST WAS NOT CRUCIFIED UNTIL THE SIXTH HOUR.
And it was the preparation of the passover, and about the sixth hour; and he saith unto the Jews, Behold your king. . . . Shall I crucify your king? (John 19:14, 15.)
THE TWO THIEVES REVILED CHRIST.
The thieves also, which were crucified with him, cast the same in his teeth. (Matt. 27:44.)
And they that were crucified reviled him. (Mark 15:32.)
ONLY ONE OF THE THIEVES REVILED CHRIST.
And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him. . . . But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost thou not fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? (Luke 23:39, 40.)
SATAN ENTERED INTO JUDAS WHILE AT THE SUPPER.
And after the sop Satan entered into him. (John 13:27.)
SATAN ENTERED INTO HIM BEFORE THE SUPPER.
Then entered Satan into Judas, . . . and he went his way and communed with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray him. . . . Then came the day of unleavened bread when the passover must be killed. (Luke 22:3, 4, 7.)
JUDAS COMMITTED SUICIDE BY HANGING.
And he cast down the pieces of silver into the temple, and departed, and went out and hanged himself. (Matt. 27:5.)
JUDAS DID NOT HANG HIMSELF, BUT DIED ANOTHER WAY.
And falling headlong he burst asunder in the midst, and all his bowels gushed out. (Acts 1:18.)
THE POTTER'S FIELD WAS PURCHASED BY JUDAS.
Now, this man purchased a field with the reward of iniquity. (Acts 1:18.)
THE POTTER'S FIELD WAS PURCHASED BY THE CHIEF PRIESTS.
And the chief priests took the silver pieces, . . . and bought with them the potter's field. (Matt. 27:6, 7.)
THERE WAS BUT ONE WOMAN WHO CAME TO THE SEPULCHRE.
The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene, early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre. (John 20:1.)
THERE WERE TWO WOMEN WHO CAME TO THE SEPULCHRE.
In the end of the Sabbath, as it began to dawn towards the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene, and the OTHER MARY to the sepulchre. (Matt. 28:1.)
THERE WERE THREE WOMEN WHO CAME TO THE SEPULCHRE.
When the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, had brought sweet spices, that that they might come and anoint him. (Mark 16:1.)
THERE WERE MORE THAN THREE WOMEN WHO CAME TO THE SEPULCHRE.
It was Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James, and OTHER WOMEN that were with them. (Luke 24:10.)
IT WAS AT SUNRISE WHEN THEY CAME TO THE SEPULCHRE.
And very early in the morning, the first day of the week, they came unto the sepulchre, at the rising of the sun. (Mark:16:2.)
IT WAS SOME TIME BEFORE SUNRISE WHEN THEY CAME.
The first day of the week, cometh Mary Magdalene, early, while it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre. (John 20:1.)
THERE WERE TWO ANGELS SEEN BY THE WOMEN AT THE SEPULCHRE, AND THEY WERE STANDING UP.
And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by him in shining garments. (Luke 24:4.)
THERE WAS BUT ONE ANGEL SEEN, AND HE WAS SITTING DOWN.
For the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it. . . . And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not. (Matt. 28:2, 5.)
THERE WERE TWO ANGELS SEEN WITHIN THE SEPULCHRE.
And as she wept she stooped down and looked into the sepulchre, and seeth two angels in white. (John 20:11, 12.)
THERE WAS BUT ONE ANGEL SEEN WITHIN THE SEPULCHRE.
And entering into the sepulchre, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, clothed in a long white garment. (Mark 16:5.)
CHRIST WAS TO BE THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS IN THE GRAVE.
So shall the son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. (Matt. 12:40.)
CHRIST WAS BUT TWO DAYS AND TWO NIGHTS IN THE GRAVE.
And it was the third hour, and they crucified him. . . . It was the preparation, that is, the day before the Sabbath. . . . And Pilate. . . gave the body to Joseph. And he . . . laid him in a sepulchre. . . . Now, when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene. (Mark 15:25, 42, 44, 45, 46; & 16:9.)
THE HOLY GHOST BESTOWED AT PENTECOST.
But ye shall receive power after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you. . . . Ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence. (Acts 1:8, 5.)
And when the day of Pentecost was fully come they were all of one accord in one place. . . . And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost. (Acts 2:1, 4.)
THE HOLY GHOST BESTOWED BEFORE PENTECOST.
And when he had said this he breathed on them, and said unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost. (John 20:22.)
THE DISCIPLES WERE COMMANDED IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE RESURRECTION TO GO INTO GALILEE.
Then said Jesus unto them, Be not afraid; go tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see me. (Matt. 28:10.)
THE DISCIPLES WERE COMMANDED IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE RESURRECTION TO TARRY AT JERUSALEM.
But tarry ye in Jerusalem until ye be endued with power from on high. (Luke 24:49.)
JESUS FIRST APPEARED TO THE ELEVEN DISCIPLES IN A ROOM AT JERUSALEM.
And they rose up the same hour and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven gathered together. . . . And as they spake, Jesus himself stood up in the midst of them. . . . But they were terrified and affrighted, and supposed that they had seen a spirit. (Luke 24:33, 36, 37.)
The same day, at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut, where the disciples were assembled, . . . came Jesus and stood in the midst. (John 20:19.)
JESUS FIRST APPEARED TO THE ELEVEN ON A MOUNTAIN IN GALILEE.
Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, unto a mountain where Jesus had appointed. And when they saw him they worshipped him, but some doubted. (Matt. 28:16, 17.)
CHRIST ASCENDED FROM MOUNT OLIVET.
And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up, and a cloud received him out of their sight. . . . Then returned they unto Jerusalem, from the mount called Olivet. (Acts 1:9, 12.)
CHRIST ASCENDED FROM BETHANY.
And he led them out as far as to Bethany; and he lifted up his hands and blessed them. And it came to pass that while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into heaven. (Luke 24:50, 51.)
PAUL'S ATTENDANTS HEARD THE MIRACULOUS VOICE, AND STOOD SPEECHLESS.
And the men which journeyed with him [Paul] stood speechless, hearing a voice but seeing no man. (Acts 9:7.)
PAUL'S ATTENDANTS HEARD NOT THE VOICE, AND WERE PROSTRATE.
And they that were with me saw indeed the light and were afraid; but they heard not the voice of him that spake to me. (Acts 22:9.)
And when we were all fallen to the earth, I heard a voice. (Acts 26:14.)
ABRAHAM DEPARTED TO GO INTO CANAAN.
And Abram took Sarah his wife, and Lot, his brother's son, . . . and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan, and into the land of Canaan they came. (Gen. 12:5.)
ABRAHAM WENT NOT KNOWING WHERE.
By faith Abraham when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out not knowing whither he went. (Heb. 11:8.)
ABRAHAM HAD TWO SONS.
Abraham had two sons; the one by a bond-woman, and the other by a free woman. (Gal. 4:22.)
ABRAHAM HAD BUT ONE SON.
By faith Abraham when he was tried, offered up Isaac, . . . his only begotten son. (Heb. 11:17.)
KETURAH WAS ABRAHAM'S WIFE.
Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah. (Gen. 25:1.)
KETURAH WAS ABRAHAM'S CONCUBINE.
The sons of Keturah, Abraham's concubine. (1 Chron. 1:32.)
ABRAHAM BEGAT A SON WHEN HE WAS A HUNDRED YEARS OLD, BY THE INTERPOSITION OF PROVIDENCE.
Sarah conceived and bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him. (Gen. 21:2.)
And being not weak in the faith, he considered not his own body, now dead, when he was a hundred years old. (Rom. 4:19.)
Therefore sprang there even from one, and him as good as dead, so many as the stars of the sky. (Heb. 11:12.)
ABRAHAM BEGAT SIX CHILDREN MORE AFTER HE WAS A HUNDRED YEARS OLD, WITHOUT ANY INTERPOSITION OF PROVIDENCE.
Then again Abraham took a wife and her name was Keturah; and she bare him Zimram, and Jockshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah. (Gen. 25:1, 2.)
JACOB BOUGHT A SEPULCHRE FROM HAMOR.
And the bones of Joseph . . . buried they in Shechem, in a parcel of ground which Jacob bought of the sons of Hamor, the father of Shechem. (Josh. 24:32.)
ABRAHAM BOUGHT IT OF HAMOR.
In the sepulchre that Abraham bought for a sum of money of the sons of Emor, the father of Sychem. (Acts 7:16.)
GOD PROMISED THE LAND OF CANAAN TO ABRAHAM AND HIS SEED FOREVER.
And the Lord said unto Abraham, after Lot was separated from him, Lift up now thine eyes and look from the place where thou art, northward and southward, and eastward and westward; for all the land which thou seest, to thee will I give it and to thy seed forever. . . . For I will give it unto thee. . . . Unto thee and to thy seed after thee. (Gen. 13:14,15,17;&17:8.)
ABRAHAM AND HIS SEED NEVER RECEIVED THE PROMISED LAND.
And he gave him [Abraham] none inheritance in it, no, not so much as to set his foot on. (Acts 7:5.)
By faith he sojourned in the land of promise as in a strange country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise. . . . These all died in faith, not having received the promises. (Heb. 11:9, 13.)
GOLIATH WAS SLAIN BY ELHANAN.
And there was again a battle in Gob with the Philistines, where Elhanan the son of Jaare-oregim a Bethlehemite, slew ["the brother of," supplied by the translators] Goliath the Gittite, the staff of whose spear was like a weaver's beam. (2 Sam. 21:19.)
THE BROTHER OF GOLIATH WAS SLAIN BY ELHANAN.
And there was war again with the Philistines, and Elhanan the son of Jair slew Lahmi the brother of Goliath the Gittite, whose spear's staff was like a weaver's beam. (1 Chron. 20:5.)
AHAZIAH BEGAN TO REIGN IN THE TWELFTH YEAR OF JORAM.
In the twelfth year of Joram, the son of Ahab, king of Israel, did Ahaziah the son of Jehoram king of Judah begin to reign. (2 Kings 8:25.)
AHAZIAH BEGAN TO REIGN IN THE ELEVENTH YEAR OF JORAM.
In the eleventh year of Joram the son of Ahab began Ahaziah to reign over Judah. (2 Kings 9:29.)
MICHAL HAD NO CHILD.
Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul, had no child unto the day of her death. (2 Sam. 6:23.)
MICHAL HAD FIVE CHILDREN.
The five sons of Michal the daughter of Saul. (2 Sam. 21:8.)
DAVID WAS TEMPTED BY THE LORD TO NUMBER ISRAEL.
And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel, and he moved David against them to say, Go number Israel and Judah. (2 Sam. 24:1.)
DAVID WAS TEMPTED BY SATAN TO NUMBER THE PEOPLE.
And Satan stood up against Israel and provoked David to number Israel. (1 Chron. 21:1.)
THE NUMBER OF FIGHTING MEN OF ISRAEL WAS 800,000; AND OF JUDAH 500,000.
And Joab gave up the sum of the number of the people unto the king; and there were in Israel eight hundred thousand valiant men that drew the sword; and the men of Judah five hundred thousand men. (2 Sam. 24:9.)
THE NUMBER OF FIGHTING MEN OF ISRAEL WAS 1,100,000; AND OF JUDAH 470,000.
And Joab gave the sum of the number of the people unto David. And all they of Israel were a thousand thousand and a hundred thousand [1,100,000] men that drew sword; and Judah was four hundred three score and ten thousand [470,000] men that drew sword. (1 Chron. 21:5.)
DAVID SINNED IN NUMBERING THE PEOPLE.
And David's heart smote him after that he had numbered the people. And David said unto the Lord, I have sinned greatly in that I have done. (2 Sam. 24:10.)
DAVID NEVER SINNED, EXCEPT IN THE MATTER OF URIAH.
David did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord, and turned not aside from anything that he commanded him all the days of his life, save only in the matter of Uriah the Hittite. (1 Kings 15:5.)
ONE OF THE PENALTIES OF DAVID'S SIN WAS SEVEN YEARS OF FAMINE.
So Gad came to David and told him, Shall seven years of famine come unto thee in thy land? (2 Sam. 24:13.)
IT WAS NOT SEVEN YEARS, BUT THREE YEARS OF FAMINE.
So Gad came to David and said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, choose thee either three years of famine. (1 Chron. 21:11, 12.)
DAVID TOOK SEVEN HUNDRED HORSEMEN.
And David took from him a thousand chariots and seven hundred horsemen. (2 Sam. 8:4.)
DAVID TOOK SEVEN THOUSAND HORSEMEN.
And David took from him a thousand chariots and seven thousand horsemen. (1 Chron. 18:4.)
DAVID BOUGHT A THRESHING FLOOR FOR FIFTY SHEKELS OF SILVER.
So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver. (2 Sam. 24:24.)
DAVID BOUGHT THE THRESHING FLOOR FOR SIX HUNDRED SHEKELS OF GOLD.
So David gave to Oman for the place six hundred shekels of gold. (1 Chron. 21:25.)
DAVID'S THRONE WAS TO ENDURE FOREVER.
Once have I sworn by my holiness that I will not lie unto David. His seed shall endure forever and his throne as the sun before me. It shall be established forever. (Ps. 89:35, 36, 37.)
DAVID'S THRONE WAS CAST DOWN.
Thou hast made his glory to cease and hast cast his throne down to the ground. (Ps. 89:44.)
Next: Speculative Doctrines
Happy Halloween '17 - Hey Groovy Agers! We're bringing you a double dose of fumetti treats this year! First up, Termineur has graciously translated yet another Viola! STORIE V...
3 weeks ago